


Wings of Freedom

by GreenKnight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, fluff?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenKnight/pseuds/GreenKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi knows he's required to watch over Eren as a part of his work. He's the type of guy that does his best in almost everything but how serious should he take this duty?<br/>Eren admires Levi and especially his fighting skills. He knows he can depend on his Heichou but what will happen once he realises that he doesn't simply just admire him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Night Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Verwirrung in der Liebe ist gefährlich

He told me before that I can disturb him anytime, even at the wee hours.  Now, I'm here in his room, sitting beside him on his couch. 

"I can't sleep, Heichou.."

He didn't respond. He remained sitting facing the small table with the blank serious look of his. I can't believe him. Why does he always look serious and stern? Can't he at least pretend to be listening?

".. Heichou.."

Not even a single movement…

"Heichou!"

My face already looked like that of a kid begging for candies and being ignored. He moved. From his slouching position he laid his back on the support of the couch. He tilted his head up and faced the ceiling. The seriousness didn't go but his blank expression became more dominant.

"I'm tired, Eren."

Now it's my turn to be silent. I didn't know what to do. I felt ashamed and guilty for waking him up in the middle of the night just because I can't sleep. I looked down, like a puppy dog scolded by his mom. I wanted to do something to make up for it. And that's when I got this crazy thought. I kissed him on the cheek like the way Mikasa does to me. She always does that whenever I say, "I'm tired", and we're alone. 

He didn't move but I can see that he's shocked. I cowered back to my side of the couch, facing the floor now. It didn't work? I know it's not a usual thing to do but that's what I thought of right at the moment. I felt nervous, my heart was beating so fast that I was afraid he might hear it. And the next thing I knew, his right hand was already lifting my head and moving it towards his. 

It was the last thing that I expected from him. A kiss in the lips. My eyes opened wide in amazement. My heart beat went up to an even higher rate. I can taste a faint green tea flavour in my mouth. When I felt his tongue trying to enter my mouth, I pulled back. I returned to facing the floor with my face all red . We sat in silence for about a few minutes. I can see him looking at me with a questioning look. He averted his gaze from me when he noticed that I can see him. 

As much as I tried to contain it, the more powerful it grew until I can already feel tears trickling on my cheeks. A drop fell on the floor. He moved. I knew right at that moment that if I didn't do anything, he might misinterpret my action. It may lead us into becoming strangers to each other. Heichou… I don't want that to happen. I wiped my tears and faced him. He paid me no notice. Heichou… 

After taking a deep breath, I made my move. I did the same thing he did to me a moment ago. I kissed him with my both hands holding his cheeks. He never tried to break free, instead he allowed me to completely take over. His eyes were closed as my tongue tried to find its way into his mouth. Soon, I can feel our tongues caressing each other; the taste of green tea spread through my mouth. 

He opened his eyes and pulled back from the kiss. He smiled… And right at that moment I felt blood rushing through my face, I felt special. Knowing him, I know that he never ever smiles not even at the jokes of his superiors. And then he dragged me down towards him. He's now lying with his back against the couch and I'm lying down on him with my head resting on the right side of his chest. I was locked in his soft embrace. I can hear his heart beat and his breathing. 

"Eren, sleep… "

I know that his eyes are still open, gazing at the ceiling. His right hand moved from my back to my head. He ruffled my hair and then I closed my eyes. I smiled, I know now I can sleep.


	2. Last Night

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that he's not around. I'm still lying on the couch covered by a green blanket, the usual cloth used by the Survey Corps. I sniffed at the blanket; the scent has Levi written all over it. Quite disorientated, I got up and looked around the room.

He closed the windows that were open last night and also untied the curtains. The room looked gloomy; there's no sunlight entering, the grey stone walls looked cold, and his things are in colours that don't pass as lively. Just like him. Then an image of what happened last night entered my head, I blushed furiously. It was nothing... I did it out of compulsion... I wasn't thinking... 

After a long moment of denial, I took a deep breath and looked down. There is a cup covered by a saucer with a spoon on top of it and there's another one but it is empty. It must have been his morning cup of tea, the room smells of the soothing aroma of bergamot. I removed the saucer and the spoon from the top of the cup thinking that it is for me. I took a sip, it is earl grey tea but it is already cold. He must have left early. Thinking about it, I realised that I might already be late for today's training.

I finished the tea and ran off the room. I accidentally banged the door too much that attracted the attention of the people in the corridor. Without minding them, I continued running towards the east courtyard.

The sun is nearly approaching the zenith. How long did I stay asleep? Levi squad was already on the last part of the daily training exercises and he's right in front them standing grim with the black aura of his.

"You're late, Eren."

He didn't even look at me. I turned red with guilt and humiliation. I couldn't look at him.

"100 laps around the main building. Now!"

Petra looked at me with sympathy and encouragement. I just nodded. "Yes, Heichou!"

When I was on my 47th lap, he was already dismissing the squad. He glared at me. I can't imagine that he's the same guy whom I kissed last night. I needed to focus and get those thoughts out of my head. I was already panting and sweating from all the running.

I stopped and rested in front of the post office in the west courtyard. My heart was racing and knees aching. I stayed there with my hands on my knees and my head facing the ground. Beads of sweat fell on the soil and evaporated because of the extreme heat of the noon time sun.

"Eren, come with me to my office. Now!"

I looked on my right upon hearing it. It was Commander Erwin, he just went out from the Post. He looked at me with grave face. I wiped the sweat from my face with my left hand.

"Yes, sir!"

I said it with all the strength I can muster and did the salute. He started walking and I followed him. I was a yard away from him, trying my best to look like a proper officer. What could be the problem now? What about my punishment from Heichou? After a long walk, we soon arrived at his office that occupies the whole 5th floor.

He motioned his hand towards the chair in front of his desk and sat on his chair. "Have a seat."

I seated properly with my hands placed on my lap. I looked at him. He looked serious with his hands closed together supporting his chin. He gave me a questioning look. I felt as if his eyes had bore through me and scanned my thoughts.

"Tell me what happened last night."


	3. Under My Custody

I started recounting the events of last night, trying to skip the unnecessary details. The kiss. I was struggling not to turn red as I organised the things I have to say in my head. But even before I could speak, the door opened.

It was Levi, I can feel the urgency in his sudden entrance. He moved forward towards Commander's table and saluted. I could feel his black aura intensifying for every second he stayed inside the room. 

"Have a seat, Levi."

He sat beside me without giving any recognition to my existence. I squirmed a bit and Commander Erwin must have noticed it. 

"I was asking Eren about what happened last night. One of my officers believed that he saw him coming out of your room this morning. Is that true?"

"Yes."

"Commander, I just went to his room because I wasn't able to sleep, it's not his fault. It's mine."

He looked at me doubtingly and then turned to Levi. "Why didn't you report it to me?"

"I believe I have the right to take care of him without informing you since he's under my custody. And we agreed that he can wander around the facility as long as he's under my supervision."

I sensed the tension between them intensifying. I started to regret everything that happened last night. I almost felt like crying but I did my best to hold it in. I didn't want to show my weak side to the Commander. 

"Eren, leave us for a while. Better yet, go to your quarters. Mikasa and your friends are worried about you.. Levi and I have some matters to discuss."

"Yessir!" I did the salute and went out of the battlefield. Phew! It was a relief that I'm already out but I was worried of Heichou. I didn't want anything to happen to him just because of me.

I started walking to my quarters on the ground floor. I saw someone doing laps outside from the window. I remembered that I was supposed to be doing that too if the Commander didn't interrupt me. What would Heichou tell me later? Will he continue with the punishment? A sigh escaped from my mouth.

I was greeted with a hug from Mikasa when I arrived at my room. I hugged her back. I was tired but I didn't tell her. We sat on the bed. "Where have you been, Eren? Commander Erwin was worried about you but he didn't stir up the squads because he didn't want more trouble."

I didn't mind what she said and laid myself on the bed. I closed my eyes wanting rest, too tired to explain myself. 


	4. Chef Levi

I woke up with a banging on my door. I got up from bed and rubbed my eyes. There's a note left on my desk. It was from Mikasa, "I went out for the afternoon training. Take care." The banging on the door grew louder.

"I'm coming."

I walked up to the door still feeling sleepy. I opened the door. To my surprise, it was Heichou. I looked at him with eyes full of obvious shock. 

He moved closer. I winced and closed my eyes. I thought he was going to hit me when he moved his hands towards my head but I was wrong. He ruffled then organised my disheveled bed hair. 

"Tch. Can't even tidy himself.", he murmured. I opened my eyes and he was looking up straight at them. There was a mixture of irritation and hopelessness in his eyes. 

"You haven't eaten a proper breakfast and lunch yet, right?"

He said it with indifference even though asking a question like that showed a bit of concern. His face showed nothing. I was worried about him before I went to sleep but it seems like he's fine and that nothing is wrong. Still, I felt a bit awkward facing him like this after what happened last night and this afternoon. 

"Yes, Heichou."

"Erwin ordered me to take care of you. Everyone has already finished their lunch, it's already 15:00 and the next time that the food will be served is on 19:00. Come with me."

I understood that I missed the meal rations but I'm perfectly fine with it. I don't feel hungry. Although feeling nervous and shy, I followed him and asked, "Where are we going, Heichou?"

"I'm gonna make you food."

The thought of him cooking for me made me smile but remembering all the trouble I caused him since last night, I felt guilty. We continued walking along the corridors of the building until we arrived in front of his room. I wondered why he brought me here when he said that he's gonna make food for me. Even with doubt in my head, I entered the room. It still feels and smells the same as it had been when I left it this morning. The relaxing aroma of herbs and the concrete dullness of the room crept towards me as soon as I went in. 

He went into the door on the right side of the room. I haven't tried wandering around too much inside his place and I don't believe that I have any idea on what that place is. Should I follow him? Before I could answer that question, I heard him calling my name.

"EREN!"

I did what my instincts tell me, I followed him to the room. It was a kitchen with a small wooden circular dining table for four. I looked around. There are a lot of shelves on the walls completely filled with glass jars, wooden boxes, and other containers. I was amazed by how complicated and organised everything is. Each one of the containers has a hand-written label in almost perfect gothic font. 

I almost forgot my purpose there being consumed by the grandeur of the room. My mouth was gaping in astonishment when I saw him inspecting my reaction. I closed it immediately and looked at him. I regained my composure and did my best to look alert.

"Yes, Heichou?"

"Sit. Don't move anything. What do you want to eat?"


	5. Housewife Material

I stared at him in amazement the whole time he prepared my brunch. It was like watching him fight a titan. He chopped the vegetable in a speed that is impossible to normal people. He sliced the meat as if it's just some soft block of jelly. I wondered if it's his knife or his skills. He looked cute, almost amiable, wearing an apron and a handkerchief on his head. He did everything fast paced. From the start up to the end, the smell of the dish that he is cooking made my mouth water. 

"Done. Trost Special Cordon Bleu for Eren Jeagar."

He served my food in style. The dishes and utensils were all sophisticated and classy. The food was also artistically presented, it looked so perfect that it made me almost regretful to mess with the design. I have never tried to eat a lunch as extravagant and beautiful as this. He was sitting in front of me at the dining table. I was probably taking too much in appreciating the food he made because he was staring at me observingly. There's a strong hint of gladness in his eyes but he's suppressing it. 

"Eren, eat that already before it gets cold."

I didn't reply, instead, I started eating. It was delicious, too delicious. The moment it entered my mouth, the flavour of cheese, spices, chicken and ham dispersed throughout my tastebuds. It was perfect. 

"It tastes really good, Heichou."

I can make out a suppressed smile on his lips. He didn't reply. He just sat there lax with his hands together resting on the table. I continued eating. I got a bit conscious with the way I'm eating and tried my best to look smart. It was distracting knowing that his eyes were on me while I eat. 

I was in my utmost state of happiness, all the glare and punishment I got from him this morning was definitely worth it. The food was really good. I think its already the seventh time I said that in my head. It felt like I was eating in a high class restaurant on a date. On a date? The thought pestered my mind, I shouldn't think of it that way. He's not even eating with me. And it's freakin' wrong! I realised I haven't even thanked him for it and wondered if he had already eaten. 

Towards finishing my plate, my mind was still being harassed by thoughts I had before. I finished everything, up to the last grain of rice. 

"Heichou, thank you for the meal. It was the best dish I've ever tasted."

I was smiling the whole time I said it, expecting an answer from him but he just got up and took the dishes. He's been silent since he started cooking, talking only when giving me orders.. He washed everything he used and the dishes I used. He did it in a very gentle manner that the sounds of the dishes and utensils clashing together weren't audible.. I just watched him while sitting and thinking of how he's able to everything perfectly. 

"Heichou, how can you be the best soldier and the best housewife material at the same time?"

I sensed his eyebrows twitching in irritation. The black aura that was lurking inside him showed evidently as if it's just another layer of his skin. And in that moment, I knew I was in so much trouble. 


	6. I Missed You

I sat there uneasy with cold sweat. I remember how he had that look before when we faced a 15 meter class titan. He didn't say anything but I can feel it, something is gonna happen, something undesirable. 

He finished washing the dishes without saying a word or even glancing at me. And the moment I feared came. He faced me with his vulture eyes.

"What was your question again, Eren?"

"Nothing, Heichou." I shook my head lightly, not looking at him. 

He moved closer and closer until his face was only inches from mine. His right hand was leaning on the table. His eyes were creepy, they were staring directly to mine. 

I moved back and stood up. I continued moving backwards and he kept on following me. After a few steps, I found my back hitting stone wall. I glanced on my right, the door was a few feet away from us. His right hand blocked my vision as he leaned it on the wall. 

I stared at him. His eyes were now solemn. I can sense that he wants to say something.

"Do you want me to be your wife then, Eren?"

He was earnest when he said it and that made it worse. 

WHAT? Wife, but I'm still young. Being a husband means I have to work, earn, have children. Whaaa-what? To have children, it means we have to do it. That. WHAAT? NO! I shook my head wildly. 

"NO!"

He froze. I moved his right arm and made my escape. My face was all red. I ran with teary eyes and a palpitating heart. I didn't look back, I rushed outside and then to my room. It didn't matter to me who saw me running, running like a kid who saw a ghost. 

I didn't mean what I said. I mean, I have no problems with him. I really like him but wife, husband, marriage, wedding? I'm not yet ready for such things. Why does the world keep on giving me stuff that are too much to handle? 

And when, I arrived at my room, Jean was inside. What's wrong with him?! Why does he have to be here?!  He is sitting on the chair beside my desk. I didn't mind him, I just moved to my bed and laid there face down, hiding my tears from him. 

"Eren, what happened, are you crying?!"

I didn't respond knowing that if I did, he would notice the trembling of my voice. 

"Eren."

I heard the movement of the chair and his footsteps getting closer towards me. He started poking my back while calling out my name. 

"Eren, EEERen, EEEren, E-reeen!"

"WUUAAAT?" I replied, not moving from my position. He stopped.

"What happened? I haven't seen you for seven days and now you're being like this."

He just returned from a mission. I forgot all about it already, my mind focused too much on the events that happened lately. I'm happy that he's okay but I don't know how to say it or even how to face him. I felt the bed move, he sat beside me. 

"It was chaotic. We faced an 30 meter class aberrant just a few miles from the wall. He stepped on one of comrades, I wasn't able to do anything. I just stared but I remembered what you told me before that I need to fight no matter what in order to win." 

There's sincerity and devotion in his voice. I can feel his internal struggle. 

"I launched myself towards the titan. I swung around its back aiming for the nape but when I already got close to it, he smacked me with his hand. I fell hard on the ground with my right arm hitting first."

He laid down on the bed beside me. His eyes were on me. I can feel his warm breath on my hair. I felt his right hand on my head. It was heavy like it is wrapped with some sort of bandage.

"I missed you, Eren."


	7. Eyes of A Child

After saying those three words, he left me. He stood up suddenly and walked to the door. There something really wrong about him. I want to comfort him and ask about it but I'm also having a hard time dealing with my own problems.

"See you at dinner, Eren. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here."

Ironic., I was supposed to be the one telling those words to him. And with that I was back to being alone in my room, a situation that I really want to avoid. My room was dark, lit only with a small candle on the desk. There are no windows, but the air inside is cold. I always experience nightmares when I sleep in this room; dreams about the Shiganshina, about Trost, about that day when I lost my arm and became a titan. 

I turned face up and stared at the ceiling. My vision is still blurry from all the crying. I wiped the tears on my face. It has been two weeks already since I moved here but I'm stll not used to the room. The ceiling shows shades of red orange to black, fluctuating unsteady colours. They're dancing, swaying side to side inside the room. The light. I closed my eyes wanting to forget about the crazy events of today. 

It was way easier when the walls are all intact. I missed playing around minding nothing but my dream to be a part of the Survey Corps. Now that I'm here, it's too difficult. I thought that by being one of them, I'll be happy and free. But at the end of the day, it is the opposite. I'm here in this cold room, dejected and caged. 

I can still remember the first time I thought of joining the Survey Corps. It was during the return of the Survey Corps from one of their expeditions. Two abberants tried to get in the wall during their entry. I was just seven years old back then. I was one of the kids near the gates, anxious of what's about to happen. The 3 meter class was able to enter the gate and the 15 meter class stayed outside sticking it's hand on small opening on the wall.

The survey corps immediately made their move. The people were all panicked and ran far away from the area. I was left dumbstruck with Armin on my right side. I saw everything happening just in front of me. Three people took down the 3 meter class and a team of two sliced the arm of the 15 meter class. The guards were already about to close the gate when someone went outside to chase the other titan. It was the small guy with the smug face.

I got worried for the first time after seeing the titans force their way inside the wall. What will happen to him? He's alone and outside the wall and another 3 titans are moving towards him. The 15 meter class was agonising over its lost arm, flailing at anything that gets close to him. The small man aimed for the neck of the titan with his gear. He dodged the titan's attempt to swat him off. Next moment, I heard the sound of chopped meat and saw the titan's nape coming off. 

It was supposed to be too much for a kid to see, but what I saw through my eyes was awesomeness. Armin was already crying clutching on the back side of my shirt leaning on my back but I continued watching the small guy as he moved like a fast-spinning top killing the three titans in just a matter of minutes. How can he do that? They were all of the 7 meter class. 

He place his blade back to their scabbard and started moving back into the wall. As he was passing right in front of us, my eyes were lit with admiration. He noticed me and moved toward us. Armin was still clinging on my back but I can't hear him sobbing anymore. 

"Brave kid." He said it with a straight face. He patted my head with his bloody hand. Realising what he did, he looked at his hand with dubious eyes. "Run along now, kid." And I did, dragging Armin with me. 

That night before I slept, I said to myself, "I'll be like him someday, I'll walk out of the wall and beat the shit out of those filthy creatures."


	8. Eavesdropped Confession

"Heichou." I said it with mixed emotions. I don't know what to tell him. I can't even face him. His blank, almost pained, expression when I left him keeps on flashing in my mind every now and then. 

Well, it was his fault for going on and spouting something like that. It was his fault that I'm here. It was even his fault that I wanted to be a soldier. It was all his fault! I heard myself grunt at the thought. 

After crying my heart out and easing myself up, I decided that I need to get up and face everything eventually. I missed the morning training, I'm in a not-so-pleasing situation with Levi, and my damn head aches. How could someone's life get so magical and then chaotic in less than a span of a day? 

I took a deep breath, got up and fixed my disheveled self. I have nowhere to go except the infirmary, my head aches anyways. Maybe they'd be able to give me medicine and some advice.

I blew the candle and it left a small ember on the tip of the wick while a thin line of smoke rose from it. It was dark; I sighed, closed the door and made my way to the infirmary. 

I arrived in front of it in just a few minutes since it is just on the same floor as my room. I feel tensed, like there's something heavy coming. While sighing preparing myself to knock, I noticed a crack, like crater, on the wall on the right side of the door. Blood was dripping from it, like it was punched by someone. The place is usually silent since there are only a few people inside but now, there are loud hostile voices emanating from the room. 

"You're getting us all worried, especially the Commander..", a husky feminine voice retorted forcefully. "Just tell me what's wrong, you runt!"

Flickering light was dancing wildly from the crack between the door and the floor. I got nervous and stepped back two steps, not wanting to accidentally eavesdrop from them. The female voice was familiar, but her tone was definitely too different from the usual. 

"What are you doing here, Eren?" 

My heart almost stopped from astonishment. It was Mikasa, slowly pacing towards me from the farther side of the dark hallway. I didn't give her a reply knowing that it might alert the talking people inside the infirmary.

Just as when Mikasa was only two steps away, a sudden loud, sharp noise came forth from the room. It sounds like someone hit a shelf or a wooden furniture. 

Mikasa grabbed my wrist and dragged me away from the where I'm standing. "Let's go. You shouldn't be eavesdropping, Eren. Jean has returned, the gang haven't seen you since last night. We're having dinner together."

With that said, I wasn't able to argue or even agree with her. I just went with her without thinking much of the dinner. My mind was still wondering on what was happening back there in the infirmary. Why is there blood on the wall? And who is this runt that Squad Leader Hanji is interrogating? Well, I assumed it was her since their voices really sound the same. 

"YOU MEAN YOU ALREADY LOVE HIM?!!" 

It came from the infirmary, a question full of disbelief and surprise.


	9. Operation Quarantine

 

The dinner went okay, almost lively actually. If it weren't for the losses of the last special mission, the small gathering would've been surely festive. A captive 7-meter class was the bargain they got for the 3 privates that they had lost in in their quest. It will be observed, experimented and studied to gain information about the whole titan race. Now everyone from the 104th Trainees Squad that chose to stay with the survey corps has gathered here, inside the high-ceilinged east hall.  

"Jean was awesome during the fight. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't have been able to capture that titan.", boasted Connie. Everyone was happy that no one from the group died in this quest. But Jean… That stubborn horse keeps worrying me. 

"I only did my best and it wasn't even enough…" He's at it again, chagrinned at himself. I always get into arguments with the guy but I truly admire him, he's very dependable and true to anyone. 

"I'll do better than you, don't worry." I said it with a taunting tone. Jean was evidently irked by it. 

"I always do better than you, Eren. It's just that you have shapeshifting skills…", Jean replied in a as-a-matter-of-factly manner. Tch. If he weren't injured, I would've strangled him right at the moment. 

"Eren, it is already time. Let's go." Having this time with them really made me unwind, I even forgot that I have to attend the mission briefing for tomorrow. I am excited but at the same time anxious, knowing that I still got some issues unresolved.  Nevertheless, I have to go. 

"Yes, Mikasa." I heard complaints from the group but they died down right after we left the room. Mikasa has her usual deadpan face. "I thought Armin is also part of this mission…"

"The Commander said that I'd be enough." The silence of the dark hallway was emphasised by Mikasa's hissy voice. She looked ghostly being lit only by the orange light from the wall torches. 

"But I'm part of the mission, right? What do you mean by you're enough?" I know that my fighting skills are not that well seasoned but that doesn't mean that I can't contribute with the fighting. They've been babying me too much lately!

"You'll know at the briefing. Here we are." She opened the door on the right and some orange light escaped from the room. There was only Squad Leader Hanji inside. 

We entered and did the salute. "Have a seat.", Hanji said sternly. 

We took seats on the right side of the long table. The flicker of orange light coming from the wall torches was making the atmosphere almost tensed. The silence broke with the sound of Squad Leader Hanji clearing her throat. After fixing her glasses, she immediately went through the details of the mission. 

"The mission will be called 'Operation Quarantine'. I'm sorry to inform you, Eren, but your role on this mission might be detrimental. I already explained the details to Mikasa but I figured her presence here might lessen the weight of our request."

I gave Mikasa a quizzical look. She remained unperturbed, unmoving even. "She was against it before but we persuaded her to agree." Hanji-san fixed her glasses to place again. 

"Just get on with the details, please." This was starting to sound unlike a mission. Why was she having a hard time with blurting out the details? She looked uneasy.

"Okay. This mission will only involve us three and it will be held on the Eastal Fort, 30 kilometres from here. It's a research facility under the power of the Survey Corps. We're going to experiment on you, Eren.", she said everything fast paced, slowing down only on the last lines. 


	10. Eastal Fort

Mikasa woke me up today. We prepared the stuff we need for the mission. Up until now, I'm still having doubts about it. But these doubts are outweighed by my will to fight. It might not be the usual survey missions but I know that I can still contribute something. 

"What are you thinking, Eren?", Mikasa asked me. She was staring at me with her usual calm demeanour. 

"Nothing. Lets finish packing up and head on to the East Gate. We shouldn't make  her wait." I gave her a motivated look despite my second thoughts.

In a few minutes, we were done. We both have a medium-sized backpack with our clothes and some tools that we might need for the journey. Hanji-san told us that we have everything we need there but it is better to be prepared for anything. We left the room after I blew off the candle. 

It was a few minutes past 4 in the morning; everyone was still asleep except for those in watch duty. The corridors were empty and cold. A few more footsteps and we were out of the building. The sky was still dark dotted with some stars peeking through the thin layer of clouds. I love the scent of the morning; it was cool and fresh. 

Squad Leader Hanji was already up and ready. Two horses were waiting on the East Gate with her. Before stepping out of the gate, I gave a last look on the Head Quarters. The mission might take days, a week at the most. I don't know what's waiting for me at the Eastal Fort. I'll miss this place; even if it has only brought me troubles since day one. 

My eyes came across Heichou's window. He was there, watching us from his room. I caught myself smiling and then he noticed that my eyes were him. He immediately withdrew and closed his curtains, only after giving me a glare. I am leaving today, without fixing things with him. I owe him a lot already and his actions are well within reasonable, considering all the pain I caused him lately. I only hope that this mission could clear my mind and ease my heart. But I'll miss him, nevertheless. 

"What are you smiling at, Eren? Let's go. Ride behind Mikasa, we only have two horses." I hopped on the horse, told them I'm ready and we started moving. The road we took was grassy, almost trackless. Getting bored riding behind Mikasa, I turned to the sky watching the stars as they begin to wink out of sight. 

My search for the constellation Orion was interrupted when Squad Leader suddenly spoke. "Levi was supposed to accompany us but he refused. There's something wrong with him these days." I flinched and turned my gaze downward. The memory of our traumatic confrontation played in my head but that couldn't be it. Who am I to Lance Corporal Levi anyways? 

He saved me from a sure execution during the hearing at the Council. He watches over me by virtue of his duties to the Scouting Legion. I am a part of his squad but I'm an irregular. If you'll look at it closely, I am nobody to him. But what was that all about? Was that him carrying out his duty? Or does he really mean it? He couldn't. He wouldn't. He was simply teasing me, right?

In the end, there was no answer. The uncertainty of our situation made my mind occupied for the rest of the journey. Mikasa was in her usual uncommunicative mood. The constant bickerings and musings of Squad Leader Hanji was the only noise that breaks the silence every now and then. 

By the time that we arrived at the place, the sun was already rising and the eastern sky was glowing with yellow light. The fort was huge, probably a third of the HQ's size. The portcullis was a bit deformed and the concrete walls was evidently damaged. There were only three soldiers that greeted us upon our entry to the facility. On the courtyard was a huge makeshift tent which rumbles periodically with the sound of a titan. 

"You'll play with him soon enough, Eren." 


	11. Prey and the Hunter

There is someone chasing me, hunting me down. I can feel it while running with the best speed I can. My foot steps leave tremors to the earth. Trees fall down and snap as I trample on them. My pursuer is getting closer and closer. 

"AGHHHHHHH!", I heard myself yell as I felt a searing pain on my right shoulder. I tried to reach it to identify what caused the stinging. Before I could even land my hand on the spot, I felt another sting on my right elbow. I tried swinging my arms violently which slowed me down. 

After a few twist and turns, I tripped and fell to the ground face down. A tree pierced my left shoulder which made me yelp in pain. A small human figure was moving towards me but I can't recognise the face due to the cloud of dust brought by my fall.  Glints of light flashed a small distance from the hands of the moving shape, blades. 

A rush of terror flowed through my veins. I felt fear, not just for myself but also for the person approaching. Deep inside, a voice was shouting, ordering me to defend myself and kill the advancing warrior. But I know I can't kill him, I shouldn't. He came closer and closer until the dust can no longer veil his true identity. The predator inside me cowered in fear as I realised who the figure was. It was Heichou and he's pointing his blade at me. 

"Eren! EREN!!" It was a deep husky voice. 

Everything was shaking with the continuous shouting of my name. I felt strong hands clasping my shoulders. With a little difficulty, I was able to open my eyes slowly but what welcomed my vision surely gave me a fright. It was Heichou. He was the one shaking me violently and shouting my name. I moved back, stunned and frightened. He removed his hands from my shoulders and stepped back a bit too. 

My vision was a little blurry but from what my eyes can see, I am inside the infirmary, lying on a bed. The other beds were unoccupied and Heichou was standing on my right side watching me intently with worry lines on his forehead. "You were flailing wildly and crying in your sleep, so I woke you up." 

Then, that was all a dream. He wasn't going to kill me, right? Not knowing what to say, I only wiped my tears and looked at him innocently. He seems relieved, back to his usual calm unmoved self. Seeing him like this, I realised that I don't even have the right to look at him. I failed him.  I moved my gaze to the open window on the far left side of the room. 

The memories of the disaster was hazy in my head. I can only remember that I passed out after wreaking havoc on the courtyard. There seems to be no wounds or scratches on my body. It must've been days now, that my titan cells has already regenerated any damage I have brought to myself during my titan tantrum. 

Looking back at things stirred up some unpleasant emotions. While my mind was wandering, I felt a drop of water on my right arm. My hand instinctively moved to my right eye, checking if I was crying. Indeed, I am crying. How could it happen without me noticing? Not wanting him to see my tears, I covered my face with my hands. 

"Stop blaming yourself. It wasn't all your fault." His words made me comfortable and  responsible at the same time. I felt his hand patting my head and fixing my hair. "Don't use your passing out as an excuse for not fixing your hair." 


	12. His Reason

"You're awake, Eren," said Squad Leader Hanji as she entered the room with Mikasa on her side. There's a smile on her face but I can't see her eyes. The light coming from the window was reflected by her glasses. 

Mikas ran to my side immediately. "Eren, are you okay? How do you feel?" She looked so stressed and the worry lines on her forehead were so apparent, not to mention the dark circles below her eyes. I'm glad of her presence but she's getting all worried for nothing again. How many times do I have to remind her that I can heal myself without even doing anything?  

"I am okay, no need to worry." I gave her a reassuring smile. She seemed pleased by that, at least. But I can still feel her motherly instincts telling her otherwise. 

"Everyone was worried about you, Eren. Your Heichou immediately went here right after hearing what happened to you.", she said it tauntingly, her eyes on Heichou. He was sitting on the same bench, with his arms crossed, glaring at Squad Leader Hanji. 

"It is my duty to watch over him, so I have to be by his side at the first sight of danger.", he retaliated without much movement. Squad Leader Hanji was also glaring at him, they were locked in a tensed staring contest. Her purple aura was getting consumed by Heichou's pitch black. Mikasa, sitting on the bench on my left side,  wasn't paying any attention to them. 

"Come on, Levi. We all already know your real reason for coming here." With that she turned her back on us and walked towards the door. She halted a feet before the door and called Mikasa. "Mikasa, lets go. Eren must be really hungry, we'll get him some food." Her voice was upbeat for some reasons and before closing the door, she gave me a wink. 

With that, I am left again with Heichou. Another round of long silence until the someone arrives, huh? I'm feeling hungry already, how long have I been knocked out anyways? It felt like I've only been asleep for a night but my stomach is grumbling so badly as if I've been asleep for weeks. Food is really my first priority now, it's really a good thing to have Squad Leader Hanji around, she knows me too well. 

"You've been asleep for a day and two nights.", Heichou said out of a sudden. What? For a moment, I felt nervous. Can he read my mind? How can he know what I was thinking? I froze, not giving him a reply. "It's because of your loud stomach, brat." 

I gave him a questioning look. His hands were closed supporting his chin, staring at me as if I'm a bizarre creature inside a cage. For the first time after I saw him today, I noticed the same dark circles I saw below Mikasa's eyes on his. Then he must've been awake for two nights, too; if my hunch is correct. On top of that he looks pale. I'm more than glad that he was by my side all this time, but he appears to be overdoing it. "Thank you, Levi." 

It was my first time addressing him like this. Normally, I'd think of my rank and call him Heichou but I want it different this time. He seems to be surprised but it was only shown by a small twitch of his left eyebrow. It was funny and… cute. I did my best to suppress it but a chuckle escaped from my mouth. 

He suddenly stood up and turned his back on me. I think I saw his face bright red which is a first. His right hand was pressed on his forehead. Am I being a pain again? "Don't get too cocky with me, brat.", he said with conviction without facing me.  


	13. Race to the Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has a blemish. *hides*

The mission was over, it was a failure. I killed the titan and destroyed some parts of the building. Now, it is time for us to return to the headquarters. Mikasa has already fixed my things for me and packed my bag ignoring my insistence that I am well capable of doing it myself. Ever since the incident, she won't even allow me to do most things for myself.

The sun was setting on the mountains on the west and the sky was of reddish-violet colour. Some streaks of light orange can be seen from the clouds, like streams of golden sand falling from a crack on an hourglass. 

The horses were already waiting for them on the same gate they entered when they arrived here. It was the same gate but it looks really different now. The portcullis was bent badly on the centre which made it impossible to be lift up completely. It was hanging on the frame making people bend while passing underneath it. "I did all these…", I whispered to myself in disbelief.

I felt a strong pat on my back as I was staring at the ruins of the once majestic Eastal fort gate arch. "Let's go, no more time to lose.", a husky feminine voice came right after. Squad Leader Hanji's face came in between me and Mikasa. She has her hands on our back to support her body. 

As I was about to express my affirmation, Lance Corporal Levi went past us, walking at a lax pace with his bag over his right shoulder. His bag was enormous but he was only using his right arm, another display of his inhuman strength. "Move faster, brats.", he mouthed when he was a few yards ahead of us.

Without giving any reply, all the three of us followed him to the gate where two soldiers were waiting. One was holding the horses' reins and the other one fiddling with some sheets of paper. "Lance Corporal", one of them said as they gave Heichou a salute.  "We've got you two horses, here's the paperwork you asked for.", the same guy said as he handed Heichou his papers.

"Dismissed", it was his only reply to the two guards. "Hanji, ride the brown one and take Mikasa with you. I'll get the black one and handle the other brat." With that he jumped at the back of the black horse and tied his bag to the saddle together with the rolled papers. He motioned his hand and pointed my bag. I handed it to him out of instinct and he placed it on the other side of the saddle. He seems in a cool mood today, at least. 

"Levi, we have to hurry before it gets dark. We'll start off without you, okay?", Squad Leader said. "It's a race, shorty." She whipped her horse and they galloped through the trees and then out of sight. 

Heichou was obviously angered by Hanji-san's actions. His eyes were blazing black fire. He eyed me glaringly and the message got through, I immediately fixed myself at his back. I tried my best to keep some distance between our bodies. It was already too much riding this one horse with Heichou but sitting too close behind him is another thing. 

Surprisingly, he didn't do anything right after I positioned myself. He was waiting, I think. "I'm ready, Heichou.", I assured him while I was trying to see his expression. 

"Tch. Get closer and hold on to me tight." I moved closer but only a bit, not wanting things to get awkward. I placed my hands on his shoulders. "Closer, Eren. And not there. Put your hands on my waist and hug it tight!", Heichou continued but this time with more authority. 

"Okay, Heichou.", I managed to reply, sounding defeated. I got closer until our bodies were touching each other. I hugged him tight as if he was my favourite pillow. His hair was directly, too close, in front of my nose and the sweet scent of lime was emanating from it. He lashed at the horse and it galloped wildly just as the whip hit its nape. It was a bit awkward but Heichou doesn't seem to mind. It was a race and since he's the competitive type, I'm expecting a really rough ride. I am excited, too excited that it's starting to be a problem. 


	14. Fun Night

One thing that really surprised me when we arrived at the headquarters was the fact that Mikasa and Hanji-san wasn't there yet. The ride was surely not that comfortable, the horse was terrified of Heichou's whip which in turn made its gallop fast but rocky. My butt still hurts from the bumpy ride. 

He handed our bags to the two soldiers and ordered them bring them to our respective rooms, perhaps, as we waited for the two. 

After a few minutes of waiting in the East Gate, Hanji-san and Mikasa arrived on their exhausted brown horse. Hanji-san looked tensed and exhausted. She was trying to avert her gaze from Heichou. He was glaring at her from the moment they arrived. "We won, Hanji. You'll get your punishment later for insubordination and disrespect to your superior." With that he started his way to the headquarters dragging me with him. 

He was holding my right hand as we walked into the main building. There is urgency in his pace and I did my best to keep up with it. I wanted to ask him where we were going but the creases on his forehead told me not to.  We stopped in front of Commander Erwin's office. Heichou knocked three times, I thought he was gonna let go of my hand but he didn't. 

"Come in." The commander was doing some paperworks on his desk with a cup of what smells like coffee on his right side. He stared at us with a questioning look, particularly at me. I was about to do the salute but my hand was still locked in Heichou's tight grip. The commander seemed to notice my attempt and eyed on my right hand. I felt embarrassed by the way he looked at me. "I'm glad to see you back Eren. Have a seat, both of you."

Heichou's hand parted with mine as he sat on the chair on the right of the commander's table. My hand felt cold without his. I sat on the chair on the left, facing Heichou. 

"I'll pass you my report tomorrow. I am here to inform you that Eren will sleep in my room tonight to avoid further commotions.", Heichou said out of nowhere. I was surprised when he said that I'll sleep in his room. I can't remember myself saying anything like that to him and above all that, we still haven't talked about the unpleasant events of last week.  Heichou, what the hell are you thinking?

"I…"

I was about to complain but my words were interrupted by Commander Erwin. He looked grave. "For what reasons, Levi? Did Eren request this?" He looked at me and I just looked at Heichou, speechless. 

"The Eastal incident traumatised him. He gets nightmares every now and then, I have to be by his side when those things happen. We don't know what he might do subjected to these nightmares." He said it flatly with eyes on me. I wanted to argue and disprove what he just said but the memory of the nightmare I had where he was the one trying to kill me flashed in my head. I shivered at the thought. 

The commander looked pensive, as if deliberating all the risks and effects of this set up. There was a frown on his forehead. He was silent for almost a minute or two. A lot of things were running in my head: excuses, complaints, worries, regrets and everything in between. Heichou was as stiff as a statue, watching me closely. 

"Okay then. Submit your report tomorrow, Levi. I want it detailed with your thoughts and suggestions on the matters you'll discuss. If that's all you want to say, then you may leave." Commander Erwin's mood eased and he rested his back on the recliner of his chair. His gazed moved to the papers he was working on moments ago as if hinting us that he has some things he needed to do. I can't blame him for sending us out subtly but there's something with the way he did that made me feel unwanted in this room. 

Heichou stood up and I followed his example. We did the salute and he grabbed my hand again on our way out of the room. He basically dragged me out of the room, to be exact, which made me irritated and embarrassed knowing that the commander saw him doing it. 

We walked down the halls and arrived in front of my room. "Pack the things you'll need for the night. I'll wait here." He stood at the doorway with his back facing me. "It's gonna be a fun night." I heard him whisper. 


	15. Sleepover

After eating dinner in his kitchen, I took a bath, slipped on a pair of pyjamas, and now, we're in his living room sitting on the sofa. I found it a bit awkward to sit on the same sofa where that thing happened but I guess it couldn't be helped. 

It was really boring just sitting beside Heichou and doing nothing and I'm itching to get on the fun part. My eyes were moving around, trying to lose myself in the most chilling beauty of this man's room. What did he mean by that anyway? In a matter of minutes, my attention went from his bookshelves on to him. I stared at him as he was reading a rather thick uninteresting-looking book. He was holding the book with his leftt hand and uses his right to turn the pages. 

The room was lit by an alcohol lamp and the bright full moon out the window. Heichou looked really amazing and cool against the light of the moon. His eyes were unmoving shiny orbs of obsidian. His hair sways every now and then due to the slow gusts coming from the window. His cheeks were cute, I don't know why. I stared at them really hard and imagined myself poking them. 

"Eren." Heichou said without even giving me a glance. "Stop staring at me while making weird faces." He flipped the page of his book.

"Ehh?" I was making weird faces? I immediately averted my eyes from him. I reclined on the sofa and faced the other side of the room. "Sorry."

The swaying light of the lamp made me feel sleepy. I heard a gentle laugh coming from his side. I faced him and asked what's wrong. Instead of giving me an answer, he stood up and dropped the book neatly on the small table by the window. He moved towards me and patted my head.

"I'll take a bath for while. If you feel sleepy, you can go to my room and sleep. Feel free to read my books if you want to, just don't get them dirty or damage them." He went to his room and beckoned at me. 

At first, I was reluctant to follow but soon gave in to it. Curiosity kills the cat. I can say that I have been waiting for a long time now to actually see the room of this man. Before moving into his room, I fixed the sofa and myself. Just like the first time I saw his kitchen,  my wits left me right at the moment I opened the door to his room. "Eren..."

"Yes, Heichou?" Everything was perfectly arranged. 10 for aesthetics, 10 for practicality, 10 for simplicity, and 100 for cleanliness. His bed was in all white, from the frame to the covers. There's a small table beside the bed with neatly stacked books, a table lamp, and what seems to be a tiny brown wooden box edged with some kind of golden metal. It immediately took my attention. 

I cautiously approached the table and stared hard at the very curious thing. I took the chance to touch it as Heichou was preoccupied getting clothes from an ornate dark-coloured wardrobe near the foot of the bed. On lid of the box was an intricately carved coat of arms of the Survey Corps. As I was about to ask him about it, he spoke...

"Wait here and rest." Handing me a set of blanket and pillow. 

My question remained unasked and unanswered. As he proceeded to the bathroom, I laid myself in the bed, face down hugging the bed and swaying my hands forming invisible snow angels on the fabric. His bed smelled like him, a strange brew of bergamot, mint and a little candy sweetness. The smooth white cloth glided shyly with my cotton pyjamas. 

In a few minutes, I felt the heavy drowsiness taking over me as I enjoyed the heavenly softness of his pillows. I laid there for what seemed like hours enjoying the sleek comfy bed of his, fiddling with the random musings that busy my brain, waiting for the sleepiness to completely take over and bring me to the world of slumber. 


	16. Good Night~!

"Ngghh." I tried to raise my arms in an attempt to do a full yawn but another pair of arms incapacitated them. There was surprise at first but I soon realised that I'm sharing the bed with Heichou. 

I paused for a while and waited for the situation to register clearly in my head. I am in bed, right beside Heichou, with his arms around me, and his face about 2 inches from mine. I could feel his breath on my ear, which gave me a very ticklish feeling. I wanted to see his sleeping face but then there was the fear that shifting positions might wake him up. 

The room was only illuminated by the moonlight coming from the window. It was enough to render most everything in the room visible to the human eye. His room looks better without the light of the lamp. It felt more alive under the moonlight; the lamplight just made it look more artificial. 

I squirmed little by little until I was facing him. He grunted for a few times but remained in his hugging position, which loosened up a bit. I'm not really especially blessed with my height but that was one of those moments when I truly appreciated it. 

It allowed me to stare at his most angelic face from a really favoured vantage point. Who would say that this man has killed countless Titans, when he looked like the most fragile and innocent boy in his sleep? I know Heichou can well defend himself better than anyone can despite any danger but just then, even for that short moment, I wished I could be the one to protect him. 

In our relationship, it is most likely the other way around. He has always been there for me, guarding me and guiding me. I know it's part of his job but sometimes, I just want to make myself believe that he does it not for the sake of his duty but because he genuinely cares about me. Heichou… Would the day come when you'll have to end my life? I guess that would be okay, as long as it is you who will do it… 

"Nghh…" he shifted for a bit with a frown on his face. It made me smile. No matter how much panic and terror that frown has given me in the past, it still looked cute on him, like a baby disturbed from his perfect slumber. Did my ungraceful movements or negative thoughts bother him? 

When he adjusted himself to a fetal position, I knew that it wasn't the latter.  The cool night winds were making him uncomfortable. I gave him the blanket he handed to me before he went to bath. He was slightly chilling and it made me worried really bad. 

I thought about closing the windows but I didn't want to disturb his sleep any further with my movements. He reacted a bit actively when I fixed the blanket over him. I didn't want to risk waking him up; it might be equivalent to signing my own death sentence. But his skin still felt cold…

After debating in my head if it will be okay or not to hug and share my body warmth with him, I decided to simply give him the warmest embrace I can give. My whole body clasped around his, with my arms and legs as the two main locks. To my surprise, he didn't seem to complain.

His faced showed nothing but contentment and comfort, which gave me immense pleasure, knowing that I'm able to make the humanity's strongest soldier happy within my arms. And that's when I noticed that my heart was beating erratically like it's gonna explode for a moment and stop beating for eternity in the next. 

The feeling was difficult to explain. Heichou looked so attractive and smelled intensely fragrant in my arms. I tried to avert my eyes from him but I just can't. I have to sleep but I didn't know how without doing something to put and end to my unstable emotions.

I assumed that a kiss on his forehead wouldn't hurt, so I did. Soft, perfect, gorgeous and fragrant. Those were the only words running in my head that time. 

"Oyasumi, Heichou."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I add a Chapter 16.5?


End file.
